Inquiry reveals stark truths on the way to waking up
I noticed today that I am addicted to media. I use it to self medicate away a chronic low level angst about simply being present. When I am working with people I can be amazingly present because I am on the job holding space for another person. When I am just doing my day between clients its a different story. I am intrinsically uncomfortable with the possibility of discomfort…of some future discomfort that might occur if I am not careful to manage my experience very scrupulously by jacking into Amy Goodman or Rachel Madow or The Best of the Left pod casts. It regulates my nervous system to hear of calamity and disaster, war,famine, pestilence and impunity to keep me safe from my own broken heart.
This reflexive avoidance is really a joke because meeting the broken heart is the surest way to waking up, and nobody knows that better then me. My own conditioning is so strong that I tend to avoid the very thing that provides the quickest way home. Can you imagine such a thing?
I also noticed that when it comes to feeling hurt, my super ego would rather I not exist at all than feel hurt. Feeling hurt is for children or the oppressed, not for one as blessed with good fortune as I. This is unfortunate because that hurt is what rips open new holes in the heart where emptiness can be met. Its very tricky to let yourself feel hurt. Try it sometime.
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Scott Macinnis
Scott skillfully journeys with you into your own experience, and enables you to uncover the essence of the soul. Through this process, outmoded and static processes are metabolized, resulting in the ability to create the life you really want. - LC, DOM
"Scott is a beautiful person who is by your side supporting your process with integrity, thoughtfulness, kindness and presence. His supportive attention enables you to carefully enter uncharted waters and transform what appears to be negative emotions into beauty." JD