I noticed today that I am addicted to media. I use it to self medicate away a chronic low level angst about simply being present. When I am working with people I can be amazingly present because I am on the job holding space for another person. When I am just doing my day between clients its a different story. I am intrinsically uncomfortable with the possibility of discomfort…of some future discomfort that might occur if I am not careful to manage my experience very scrupulously by jacking into Amy Goodman or Rachel Madow or The Best of the Left pod casts. It regulates my nervous system to hear of calamity and disaster, war,famine, pestilence and impunity to keep me safe from my own broken heart.
This reflexive avoidance is really a joke because meeting the broken heart is the surest way to waking up, and nobody knows that better then me. My own conditioning is so strong that I tend to avoid the very thing that provides the quickest way home. Can you imagine such a thing?

I also noticed that when it comes to feeling hurt, my super ego would rather I not exist at all than feel hurt. Feeling hurt is for children or the oppressed, not for one as blessed with good fortune as I. This is unfortunate because that hurt is what rips open new holes in the heart where emptiness can be met. Its very tricky to let yourself feel hurt. Try it sometime.

I just did two remote sessions today. Each one made me weep with joy. I cannot express how beautiful it is to get to meet people in the present moment and track the deepening that always happens when a good faith effort is made to simply welcome what is arising in the moment. Sometimes it is enough to just follow what is present and sometimes it is good to inquire into a specific issue that is showing up in your life.

When you choose an issue and deepen into your experience of your body responding to your thoughts of the issue, the layers of appearance quickly begin to fall away to reveal a surprising resolution to the original problem. The egoic mind might never have thought of such an outcome. This is a different cognitive approach to problems than the usual figuring them out. The resolution comes from metabolizing false identifications rather than figuring out new behaviors.

This metabolization comes from meeting and abiding with the uncomfortable feelings and sensations that might arise when dealing with an issue, rather than trying to manage the discomfort by “letting go” of the perceived block or some other way of manipulating yourself like affirmations positive thinking. Whenever you reject your experience, you are rejecting a part of yourself. This is different, and less effective then meeting and deepening into whatever is happening, no mater how uncomfortable.

Why did I weep with joy? The beauty that is present when what is is allowed to be, and acknowledged is simply too powerful to behold without being deeply moved.

As I do more and more non-local connection sessions with people far and wide, it becomes more and more clear to me that this is a very powerful tool for people who are brave and trusting to be with their own experience enough to let it move without manipulation.
All of the amazing states of awareness illuminated by the great sages are available to you directly through this process of simply meeting what is present and allowing it to move as it will. Everything you are experienceing is just the surface of a great depth that will lead you unerringly to your personal awakening and remembering Who you are in an embodied realization. Each breath can be a movement toward awakening or conditioning,